It's not like I'm a slut
or that I really like to fuck,
I just want every boy I see,
to walk away with part of me,

Until there's nothing left to hold,
until there's nothing left to hate,
I know that I need help,
but even you can't save me from myself.

It's not like I am weak or that I don't know how to leave,
it's just that every time you cheat,
you bring me closer to defeat,
until there's nothing left to love,
until there's nothing left to say,
I know that you need help,
but even I can't save you from yourself.

--Her Space Holiday, Japanese Gum



The more and more I relate my actions to this song, the more and more it starts to make sense. I don't know whether or not I'm purposely putting myself through this kind of self-degradation, or whether or not it's just an inevitable consequence of the risk. For some reason, however, I have a strange feeling it's the former.


And for the record:

Never have I ever been in love.


Dubby