I love you, Brown.

And the day I leave you, is the day I will be able to fully grasp that this was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

Sometimes it feels like I want this to last forever, but despite this I know that it's not what I want. That this is just one of many stepping stones towards the life I will live--whatever that may be.

But at least I know


that this, compared to many things that have passed,


was something I did right.

After all these years of looking for the answers, I always end up in the same place.

Maybe I'm not doing this right.

Maybe you're not doing it wrong enough.

As the last few hours of the decade elapse I can't help but wonder if things could have been done better, differently.

But things always turn out how they're supposed to, no matter what.

It's the sad truth.

A truth I have learned to accept.


Despite this, however, I can't really tell if learning to accept something the way it is is merely giving up due to uncontrollable (or perceived as uncontrollable) circumstances, or learning to be content.

Neither can I.

All it is, is a constant struggle between the things you want or feel you deserve, and whether or not the world is willing to give it to you.


I think it's about time I start stealing.


新年快樂

孟達偉