| 自始至終

Overrated Boys, and Attention-Starved Girls

Posted: 11/4/2008

How exactly do you define "college life"?

A period of time of absolute promiscuity?

A period of time of intense intellectual depth and realization?

A period of freedom?

I try very hard not to label and/or define the experiences that I have not yet to take part in. Despite that, however, I can't help but always expect something. Does that make sense?

I don't know exactly what it is I'm hoping to expect, it's just this feeling in the back of my mind when I'm out with my friends, when I'm at a party, or any large "liberal" social event.

Should I let her flirt with me?

Should I let him make a move?

I find myself in situations where my morals are constantly tested--and man, it sucks.

Is it wrong to indulge?

Is it right to let the opportunity pass by?

Every situation differs, of course, but the uncertainty still remains.

I keep telling myself, "Whatever. Whatever happens, happens. I'll just take things as they come--unexpected, unpredicted."

--and then I get excited.

I also get scared.

What is it, exactly?--What scares me?

I don't know.

You Once Whispered Words To Me

Posted 5/31/2009

So, my sleep cycle's kind of reversed, haha. It's great--sleeping in 12 hours a day--all I do is eat, cook, workout, study chinese, and sleep. For the past two weeks I've been waking up after 2 pm, and I'm fine with that.

Early one morning I happened to walk into my kitchen during the sunrise, and I just fell in love with how the sun lit it up. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I've walked into my kitchen many times during the sunrise, I guess it's different this time because I actually took the time to notice just how beautiful it really is.

It also made me feel like a kid again: getting ready for school on an early, eager day, falling asleep in the middle of the hallway in the late afternoon, watching the sunlight shift its position on the carpet as it settled in the west, and getting up early enough to witness just how serene the world really is.

I love it.