Sorry for not updating in such a long time. I feel terrible. Well, not really, despite that the terrible-ness of my impeded blogging abilities has disappointed me some.
Three months have passed, and let me tell you, a lot has happened. If anything, however, it has made me realize that I have been ignoring a lot of things about myself that I've known for quite some time I should change.
Another event occurred in which I was completely caught off guard, and I became someone I didn't know, someone who I had no control over. It was odd, really, because I didn't expect any of it to occur. It was also very frustrating--to the point where I feel as though I lost a friend before I even got a chance to really make one. It makes me sad.
I feel like I have improved so much these past three years, and this summer made me feel like I was starting back at square one--as if I had made no improvement at all, as if all of the growth I felt I have experienced had never occurred.
I thought I was strong, I thought that the many, many disappointments that I have gone through equipped me for one like this, for one especially like this. But it didn't. It hit me hard, and tore me a part.
I wasn't myself this summer. I lost it--myself. Now, however, I'm picking back up the pieces, the pixels, and little by little I'm starting to see myself again, and it feels good. I shouldn't let what other people expect from me, or disappointing events to distort the image, to deform it into something that I know isn't me.
I should just be myself. And it's about time I get comfortable with it.
Dubby
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Hi There
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Home Sweet Home
So, I just flew in from my 12+ hour flight (total flying time) from Providence,RI to Hilo, HI. It's been pretty good seeing my mom, especially since one of our dogs, Chino, died. We have two dogs, and both of them are brothers--but now we only have one left. Those dogs are pretty much my mother's replacement for her kids, and it just pretty much broke her heart when one of them died.
On a brighter note, being back home is pretty good. The food is good, and cooking again is AMAZING. Haha, making unique things at the Ratty is one thing, but actually being in front of the stove and pulling things out from the fridge and cupboards, tossing it into the pan, being creative from scratch--god, it feels great.
Finals went by pretty slowly. Creative NonFiction was the first to be done with, and it was pretty good. Next came Social Psych, blah, I think I'm going to get a B in that class, meh. The final was three timed essays, and I didn't really do good with them. Next was my International Relations class, we had to define certain terms in high detail and write two essays. I think I did pretty well! I'm most likely going to get a B in the class, but that's okay, I'm not concentrating in IR. Last was Chinese. I think I'll get an A in that class, I hope! The final went pretty good, I think.
Other than that, it's time to lose the weight I gained from delicious Ratty/V-Dub food! Haha, I also need to lose weight to get into the new weight division in Tae Kwon Do, so I can be faster and use less energy in moving my body. I also found a steal from amazon.com for a Nikon D60, refurbished for $419, hahaha! I'm so excited! It also has this stop motion movie feature, so I don't have to stitch all those pictures through another program on the computer! It'll also be great for Beijing, gosh, you have no idea!
I'm planning on working next year, so I can save enough money to go abroad again next summer, and hopefully, abroad for my first semester of junior year in college--to Taiwan!! I have to see if I can afford losing that semester, though. If I do decide to pursue an Sc.B Psychology degree with an A.B in Sociology, I have to fulfill a requirement of 26 classes. And there are only about 4 (5 max) classes per semester, so yeah. Blah, I need to think about it, but we'll see.
Anyways, I'll talk to you later, most likely before I leave for Beijing! The first thing I want to do with my Nikon is take pictures of my grandma cooking =]. It'll be great--just capturing her like that, even though a camera will never be able to capture the person she is, the woman who helped raise me.
Dubby
