Or maybe I'm not.


I'm not sure exactly how to put how I feel into words, because, I don't know, I guess I'm starting to care less and less about my reactions to things. Which is good and bad, I suppose. Lately I've been finding that I've been living with the mindset of

the moment

and it feels so damn good not to care about what the future would bring, how the past is something that can never be re-done--just living life day to day, smile to smile, awkward laugh to awkward laugh. I feel like I've improved a lot ever since I've started life here, and I don't ever want it to end.


Sometimes, however, everything just hits like a ton of bricks to my face. And yet. It makes me feel as though I'm running away from something.

what are you running away from, David?

I don't know.

Liar,

you're just too embarrassed to bring it up


I guess it's something that I still have yet to resolve within myself, to confront, and to come to terms with. To come to terms with instead of having it leak out through the lyrics of the songs I make, and the chords I play with my guitar.

Maybe I'm being impatient. Maybe I'm being inconsiderate.

I don't know.

But I do know, however, that if I don't suck it up and get over this, it's just going to get worse and worse.

It's so tiring, it really is, but I can't help it--and I really wish I could,

but, feeling lonely sucks

so

damn

much.