Sorry for not updating in such a long time. I feel terrible. Well, not really, despite that the terrible-ness of my impeded blogging abilities has disappointed me some.

Three months have passed, and let me tell you, a lot has happened. If anything, however, it has made me realize that I have been ignoring a lot of things about myself that I've known for quite some time I should change.

Another event occurred in which I was completely caught off guard, and I became someone I didn't know, someone who I had no control over. It was odd, really, because I didn't expect any of it to occur. It was also very frustrating--to the point where I feel as though I lost a friend before I even got a chance to really make one. It makes me sad.

I feel like I have improved so much these past three years, and this summer made me feel like I was starting back at square one--as if I had made no improvement at all, as if all of the growth I felt I have experienced had never occurred.

I thought I was strong, I thought that the many, many disappointments that I have gone through equipped me for one like this, for one especially like this. But it didn't. It hit me hard, and tore me a part.

I wasn't myself this summer. I lost it--myself. Now, however, I'm picking back up the pieces, the pixels, and little by little I'm starting to see myself again, and it feels good. I shouldn't let what other people expect from me, or disappointing events to distort the image, to deform it into something that I know isn't me.


I should just be myself. And it's about time I get comfortable with it.


Dubby